Thursday, 25 March 2010


Well, I knew it was going to happen and it has! I am two days overdue and waiting, waiting! Not that I am surprised at all. My daughter was 10 days overdue, I am built like the campervan of mothers so I am sure bub is enjoying the roominess of my huge belly and my boyfriend is so laid-back he's practically lying down - when you add all three factors, what do you get? A baby that is going to take it's own sweet time!

For those of you who have gone overdue, you'll understand why I'm writing this post. For those of you that haven't, allow me to paint a picture. Going overdue is like being told that Christmas is the 25th and you have all these presents under the tree that you can unwrap when that day comes, only when you get there, you're told that Christmas has been postponed. Not only that, it has been postponed indefinitely and that at any minute of any day it could happen but you won't know until it comes! Then look at those presents every minute of every day, wondering, waiting when you'll be allowed to celebrate!

Going overdue is kind of like this - but a million times worse as at Christmas you're not forced to carry a bowling ball round with you the whole time while trying to swallow down indigestion, wondering how you're going to tie your shoes!

So, how to deal with it?

1. Tell yourself you will go over and that your due date is anywhere up to two weeks after your due date. By focussing on your due date only you set yourself up for disappointment if you go over and if you come early or on your due date, it's a bonus!
2. Remind yourself that the longer your baby goes over, the bigger it gets. This is always good for babies as they are generally more developed, better at feeding and will sleep longer periods.
3. Prepare to be inundated by calls, emails etc asking if bub has come. You can either let the answering machine get it or remind yourself that people are only asking because they love you and they're not intentionally trying to remind you over and over that you haven't had the baby yet!
4. Plan little projects for yourself like catching up on photo albums, baby books, reuniting with old friends via facebook, writing blogs on going overdue...
5. Plan a facial if you go over three days, a manicure if you go over five days. Give yourself something to look forward to and there are loads of beauty therapists that come to you.
6. Kick back and let your partner wait on you.
7. Meditate/sleep

And if all else fails? Remember that this will be the last time you'll ever feel your little bub wriggling round inside of you, a part of you, and that from the minute you give birth your child will be gradually growing ever more independent and further away from that warm little bundle you grew and cherished for 9 months.

Cheers! Alli

Wednesday, 17 March 2010


I received an email from one of my mentoring mums the other day. She was questioning her role on my site as she did feel '...rather a small pea compared to the fantastically high profile mothers...' I had on board. It wasn't the first email of this type and it won't be the last. And every time I receive this sort of correspondence it makes me want to shout the same thing - 'Mums! Stop selling yourself short!'

I'm not sure why, whether it's the time away from the workforce, the moving into new fields of business, gradual wearing down by your kids or other reason but I have never come across a group of people who (in general) so grossly underestimate themselves.

At a time when we are all juggling home, kids, husbands, social lives, work, business etc etc and proving how amazing we are on a daily basis you would think we would all be walking ego maniacs but the opposite is true. Instead of referring to the incredible things we are achieving, we keep insisting on comparing ourselves with other people, other achievements, our own mothers and coming up short.

But let me let you in on a few realisations I have picked up along the way:

1. That businessmum is more high-profile than you because she has been in business for 10 years longer or has had the money to spend on PR or her husband's in business with her etc. Her journey is different to yours and therefore you are in different places, so there is no point in comparison.

2. Hell! Stop comparing yourself with others all together! If you must use people as a yardstick, simply observe where they are and recognise this is where you would like to be and make it happen. But don't let it make you feel bad.

3. No one person has it that together - you don't see them curled up in a ball on the bed at home dealing with stress, doubts, disapointment and depression. They will always show a different face to the world and it will always look good from the outside.

4. We are amazing people with education, travel, career, business and mothering behind us. We also have eyes and ears, we have opinions and ideas, we have friends and contacts. Even if you are just starting out in business you will always have something to offer because you have lived and have experience to draw on.

So, what am I going to write back to my mentor? That I chose her because I see something in her that she should also be able to see. That she is an intelligent, experienced, bright woman and that I see what she has to offer my clients, even if she doesn't. And the reason I chose my other mentors wasn't because they were high-profile but for exactly the same reason she is on my books. And then I'm going to shout Mum! Stop selling yourself short!