Wednesday, 2 June 2010

BECOMING UNSTUCK

Just reading a fab book by a new Twitter friend, Danielle Raine called Housework Blues. Now I don't have any trouble with my housework but what I do have trouble with, from time to time, is allowing my situation to get me down. My situation being not being able to get back to Australia and feeling stuck in London.

I'm not the only one that suffers from this. I know of several mums who feel stuck, working at jobs they don't like as they can't leave, or at home as they can't afford childcare.

What to do in these seemingly hopeless situations? Obviously, I tried to change matters (on more than one occasion) but when it didn't work out it left me with nothing more than a reinforcement that I was well and truly stuck.

Today, Danielle's book provided me with a lightbulb moment! Where before I only thought there were two states, being stuck or getting out, there was a third. I could accept the situation. As Sun Tzu, the author of Art of War wrote 'Choose your battles wisely. Do not fight battles you cannot win.'

This is exactly what I had been doing. Going into battle in a situation I could not change and expending energy, creating anger when the outcome was already guaranteed. What I needed to do was accept where I was and let go of the associated feelings of depression and anger as they weren't getting me anywhere.

And how did I do this? Well, firstly, I plotted my journey to this point in an attempt at understanding how I got here in the first place. My destination wasn't an accident, I was responsible for the decisions that landed me here. I also outlined the benefits with being where I was and the the things I was learning during this experience, about myself and the world. Lastly, I identified where I wanted to go and what would need to happen for me to be able to get there. I also noted when this might happen to give myself something to look forward to.

Suddenly, I felt better and although I'm still not in Australia I know a lot more about myself and have an idea of when I might get there. I wonder what else I'll learn from a book about dealing with housework?!

5 comments:

  1. Here's to lightbulb moments!

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  2. A great one to share! Some people think that accepting a situation is a sign of weakness, it sometimes is the bravest thing you can do... Thank you :)

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  3. Love those ligtbulb moments Danielle! And after reading the book Perfectly Happy Mum - I agree! x

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  4. Really great post! So inspiring! Now I will have to check out Danielle's book!

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  5. Thanks so much for sharing, Alli ... I love those lightbulb moments and totally agree about the "third state" to be in; have to keep reminding myself of this when I have moments of "stuck-fast-and-no-retreat-option"! x

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