IN BLACK AND WHITE

Bought She Magazine today.  An interview with Denise Van Outen is advertised on the cover with the words Back at Work after 2 Weeks printed under it.

I would just like to say one thing 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!'

Why, oh why, when things settle down do the media have to jump right back in and stir things up again?

'Should mothers stay at home?'

'Mothers that work damage their children'

'I gave up breastfeeding after a week!'

These and many more headlines scream out at us from the covers of magazines and newspapers every week.  Why? Because they want you to buy their offering either in a huff of indignation or feeling of self- righteousness and read all about it. 

If the two sides of the argument start throwing facts and figures, beliefs and insults about - even better!  The more controversy, the higher the sales.   

Just because it is written in black and white, however, doesn't make it black and white.  They just want you to believe it is because then you will be encouraged to weigh in on the debate, talk about it with your friends, buy a copy of their latest issue.  I mean, think about it, have you ever read an article on mums and working, breastfeeding etc. that discussed all facets of an issue and didn't just divide mums everywhere by making out there were only two sides - and one had to be the right? 

Now She Magazine will argue that if you read the article it actually presents Denise going back to work in a good light (and it does).  But I have to query if this is the case, why the heading on the front page is in black capital letters with two weeks underlined?  I know why - and I'm not falling for it anymore. 

FROM RACE DAY TO REALISATION IN 4 EASY STEPS

My first thought was 'no way!' No way am I ever, ever going to compete in a mums race at my daughter's school.  This year or any year.  I fumbled around for an excuse and came up with something along the lines of breastfeeding and tearing down a racetrack not mixing.

The truth of it was I was emotionally scarred from years of having to compete in school sports, always limping in last, cheeks burning.

Safely ensconced on the side lines I watched the other mums line up for the sound of the gun.  They varied in shape, size and dress.  A lot of them looked in worse shape than me.  However it wasn't until they were streaking past that it dawned on me:

1. Where once I always came in last, the playing field had levelled a bit.  

2. If I decided to run I might actually finish safely tucked in the middle of the pack. (I'm not deluded enough to actually think I would ever win!)

3. My opportunities as far as winning races had changed without even realising it. 

4. I was still leading my life according to events experienced when I was 10 or 11.

Beliefs and limitations I had taken for granted all my life were turned on their head. How many other opportunities had I missed without even questioning my choices? By the time the competitors tumbled across the finish line all red faces and wild hair I had decided to make sure future decisions were informed, and not based on someone I was 20 or 30 years ago.

I'm still not sure if you'll see me taking my place at the start line next year. But I do know that if I don't, I'll be making an enlightened choice. And who knows, maybe I'll still be breastfeeding...