FROM RACE DAY TO REALISATION IN 4 EASY STEPS

My first thought was 'no way!' No way am I ever, ever going to compete in a mums race at my daughter's school.  This year or any year.  I fumbled around for an excuse and came up with something along the lines of breastfeeding and tearing down a racetrack not mixing.

The truth of it was I was emotionally scarred from years of having to compete in school sports, always limping in last, cheeks burning.

Safely ensconced on the side lines I watched the other mums line up for the sound of the gun.  They varied in shape, size and dress.  A lot of them looked in worse shape than me.  However it wasn't until they were streaking past that it dawned on me:

1. Where once I always came in last, the playing field had levelled a bit.  

2. If I decided to run I might actually finish safely tucked in the middle of the pack. (I'm not deluded enough to actually think I would ever win!)

3. My opportunities as far as winning races had changed without even realising it. 

4. I was still leading my life according to events experienced when I was 10 or 11.

Beliefs and limitations I had taken for granted all my life were turned on their head. How many other opportunities had I missed without even questioning my choices? By the time the competitors tumbled across the finish line all red faces and wild hair I had decided to make sure future decisions were informed, and not based on someone I was 20 or 30 years ago.

I'm still not sure if you'll see me taking my place at the start line next year. But I do know that if I don't, I'll be making an enlightened choice. And who knows, maybe I'll still be breastfeeding...

THE MUMPRENEURS' MEOW

The comment cut clear across the room. One minute I'm getting tips on blogging, the next I'm listening to a Mumpreneur slagging off their competitor. I was shocked to say the least, partly because it was in front of a room full of people and partly because it came out of the mouth of a mum in business.

Now, I may be a babe in the wood but I really thought mums in business were different to most other types of business-folk in that they are so much more generous with their time, support and advice. At my Businessmums' Networking Lunches photographers sit side-by-side and help each other out (my events are non-exclusionary).

But this mum was proving herself the opposite of everything I had come to believe and try as I might, I couldn't understand the comment. Who starts a business with the belief they will never have any compeition? Who thinks that talking about a competitor in such a manner will make them look anything but unprofessional?

So mums, please join me in appreciating your competition. You will come out looking great and they will keep you on your toes. Plus, it's far cleverer to beat out your competitor by being better than them, rather than bagging them.

Have you been put down by your competition or given the cold shoulder by someone 'loyal' to your competitor? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

TOP BUSINESS TIPS FROM EMMA JONES, ENTERPRISE NATION

I have been self-employed and running businesses for 11 years. That’s a little over a decade. And there’s a lot of learning that’s been crammed into that time!

So are there things I wish someone had told me when I was starting out? You bet! Here’s five of them.

1. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a Prince

I’m hoping with this as the first lesson, you’re still taking me seriously! What I mean by this is when you’re looking to partner with others to build your business, a number of these partnerships or relationships will fall by the wayside. The fit isn’t right, the other party doesn’t represent your brand in the way you wish, you’re not confident in their credentials – whatever the reason, don’t settle for anything less than the best – it’s your business that’s at stake!

2. Go with your gut

If a negotiation doesn’t feel right, finish it. It’s unlikely to get any better.

3. Follow the golden triangle

In keeping the business in balance, try to spend a third of your time on three things; business development, customer care, and admin.

4. Innovate, Innovate, Innovate

Strive to be first to market; whether that be with a new product or a new way to promote yourself/your service. Stand out from the crowd and take in as much as you can (by reading/watching/listening) as this helps creativity flow.

5. Be patient

Realising your vision may take a little longer than you thought but don’t ever let go of that vision. For me, patience is a virtue I’m still having to learn!

Emma Jones is founder of Enterprise Nation www.enterprisenation.com, a business expert and author of ‘Spare Room Start Up’ and ‘Working 5 to 9’. She is sharing her tips and advice at the Mothers Life Businessmums' Networking Lunch in association with Motivating Mum.

NETWORK WITH CONFIDENCE

I went to a meeting this Wednesday in town at Enterprise UK for a brainstorm with other female members of the steering group for Women's Enterprise Day.

What started as pride that I had been asked to join a group of remarkable women ended in fear that I had been asked to join a group of remarkable women. Reading the bios of all involved was an endless list of awards, titles, company names, experience - I was well and truly cr*pping myself! How was I supposed to walk into this room and say anything that wouldn't expose me for the largely inexperienced businessmum that I was?

To get the most out of this opportunity I knew I needed to walk in with more than quaking knees and squeaky voice so I did what any life coach would do, I coached myself!

The first thing I did was tell myself that bios are written to make people look great and the bios provided certainly did that! However, it didn't say how long it took them to get these awards and achieve their titles. Bios also don't outline fears, insecurities and failures.

I also reminded myself that, as I am a mum relatively new to business (3 years), I was able to truly represent my clients and members, their challenges and concerns in the meeting. I did have something very valid to offer!

What else? Well, I assured myself I was chosen to attend so the organisers must have seen something in me that maybe I hadn't and I focussed on the fact that I would be able to meet some amazing women in business and would learn a thing or two.

Lastly, I recognised this was a challenge and I could either overcome my fears and grow or miss an opportunity. When faced with this decision, I chose the former as I want my life to be about growth, learning, trying new things. And I did it. And it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I had made it to be in my head (it never is). And now I'll be able to walk into the same situation in the future and feel confident and prepared.

FEEL THE STRESS AND DO IT ANYWAY

So, one month into being a mum with a baby, a toddler and a business and I am a tad stressed. Add to that workload the fact that I only have two weeks to apply for a Visa for my partner for Australia (which usually takes most people a month or more to get together) and I am the closest I have ever been to going grey!

It's hard! Fitting a whole little person into a life that was already crammed to over-flowing. And, of course, initially you fool yourself into thinking you'll still do everything you did before but there are areas of your life that suffer, like sleep, like replying to emails, like Twitter and before you know it you're like a greyhound at the track trying to catch that rabbit. I knew I had reached this point the other day when I found myself gripping the steering wheel of the car, white knuckled. I was so wound up and tense thinking about all the things I hadn't achieved.

So, what to do? Well, number one is to believe everything that everyone tells you about having two. It is more than twice the work and god help you if they aren't a good eater, sleeper, are ill etc etc. In fact, prepare for the worst and then if it's any better than that, you'll almost feel you've been let off the hook!

Number two is to try and continue doing everything you want to but at the same time take note of what's not fitting in and think about why. Is it because you always wanted a good excuse not to fulfill this task? Does the time of day/week need to be changed to fit it in? Where would it fit better with your new responsibilities? Try moving things about. Fitting them in different slots and give yourself time to find a new fit.

Number three is to be honest about whether everything actually still fits in. When you put a brick in a bucket of water some of the water is displaced. Your time is the same. You only have a finite amount and adding a baby to the mix may mean other activities/chores will overflow. What can you let go (even if it's just for the time being)? What can you do smarter? What can you get other people to do? Rather than just allowing the the end of your to do list to get pushed back every day, conciously think about and choose what you want to maintain and achieve in your life and what you want to let go.

Number four is to allow a routine to reveal itself. Life, and babies, have their own natural rhythms and if you give them time you may find that things work out.

Number five is don't compare yourself to anyone else - or if you must do it (as we're all prone to) then remember what you're seeing is only a small percentage of the total picture. It's easy to believe that everyone else is doing so much better than you but it's most likely they're just putting a brave face on it when the washing and dishes are piling up, their email inbox is over flowing and they're so stressed they've bitten nails down to the quick!

Number six is to reflect on what you have achieved every day. That day in the car, instead of thinking of all I hadn't done, I started to think about what I had done; bathed and dressed Freya, dressed Amelie, made beds, played with Amelie, Twitter for 30 min, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, sent some emails, made two phone calls, chatted to my boyfriend, showered and dressed, washed dishes, washed and hung out clothes, updated my website, changed nappies... and lo and behold, I started to get some colour back in my knuckles!

MULTI TASKING MUM TIP #1

Tip #1

When was the last time you sat down and really thought about what you spend your time on each day? How many activities do you fulfill that you simply take for granted as a necessary part of your day? I know of one woman that irons her sheets and another that spends a lot of time doing dishes while her kids watch tv.

I'm not saying don't do these things (hey! who am I to argue with the smoothness of an ironed sheet?!) but sit down and ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things, do you need to do them? What can you delegate? What can you do faster? With less fuss? Are there other things you would prefer to be doing? If so, what? And what jobs do you want to continue with because they mean so much to you?

Now I know you're reading this thinking fab, great idea, but when do I get the time to do this with that pile of washing/accounting staring at me from across the room? Well, for the very organised, a little time keeping throughout the day in a notepad is very easy. For those with an aversion to list-making, how about a review of your day in the ads of your fave show of before bed? Or, even crazier, how about you tell your hubby/kids what you're trying to achieve and ask they cook dinner/wash up/look after themselves for 10 min a day for a week while you dedicate yourself to this exercise?

The point is that it will take time initially, but the time and stress it could save you in the end could be immeasurable. And isn't it about time you did something for yourself?

I'd love to hear your successes/challenges in achieving this exercise. Let me know how you do by replying to this post! Cheers, Alli

WHEN ALL GOES TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET

One of the pics I would have lost...


Last week my computer died. Just like that, gone. I gently slipped my baby in it's case and took it to my computer guy (Jim Wu of Ayooda jim.wu@ayooda.co.uk) to be told the prognosis. There was no chance of recusitation and he had never seen anything like it - usually there was a window where you could extract all the information you had been meaning to, but never had, backed up. My only chance was to send it off to a lab where, thankfully, my photos, email addresses, work could all be retrieved for a mere ₤450! It sounds a lot but faced with the prospect of losing all the videos and pictures of my daughter it was a mere pittance.

So, the week spent computer-less was hell to say the least. I am in the middle of relaunching my website and business and had to spend many hours in an internet cafe dealing with slow connection speeds and other customers talking on skype at the tops of their voices. Making contact with clients and associates was attempted through twitter and google, with many of my clients not listed in either. I had to contact people to ask them to comb through their deleted files to find work I had sent and I had to let a Brainstorm session slip by as I didn't have the resources to make it happen. Thankfully, my computer is back now and I am in the land of the connected. My fingers haven't stopped typing since I got it back and I knew one of things I wanted to do first was to write this blog and remind everyone to back their computer up - now! It isn't worth the time, money or stress to put it off to tomorrow...I should know.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD

Honestly? I can't believe I am sitting here doing this. So why am I, you ask? Peer pressure. Pure and simple. There are only so many times you can be told you need a blog before some small part of you starts asking, do I? The problem was that I always thought blogs were people writing about how they baked a cake that day, or had an interesting thought or experience, and I didn't really think that the world needed another blog full of information that I would never take the time of day to read myself. It got me thinking. I needed to create a blog that I would read. And so here it is, the Motivating Mum blog. How I do what I do every day (or week). a blog that I am hoping people might be able to take something from like a new way of managing time or not doing it, as the case may be. A little trick to help get through the cleaning quicker. A way of promoting your business better, or not promoting it. Learn from my inspirations, my mistakes, my gleaning of information from other mums, my endless search to do things better and faster myself.

Cheers! Alli