2 DAYS OVERDUE AND WAITING, WAITING!

Well, I knew it was going to happen and it has! I am two days overdue and waiting, waiting! Not that I am surprised at all. My daughter was 10 days overdue, I am built like the campervan of mothers so I am sure bub is enjoying the roominess of my huge belly and my boyfriend is so laid-back he's practically lying down - when you add all three factors, what do you get? A baby that is going to take it's own sweet time!

For those of you who have gone overdue, you'll understand why I'm writing this post. For those of you that haven't, allow me to paint a picture. Going overdue is like being told that Christmas is the 25th and you have all these presents under the tree that you can unwrap when that day comes, only when you get there, you're told that Christmas has been postponed. Not only that, it has been postponed indefinitely and that at any minute of any day it could happen but you won't know until it comes! Then look at those presents every minute of every day, wondering, waiting when you'll be allowed to celebrate!

Going overdue is kind of like this - but a million times worse as at Christmas you're not forced to carry a bowling ball round with you the whole time while trying to swallow down indigestion, wondering how you're going to tie your shoes!

So, how to deal with it?

1. Tell yourself you will go over and that your due date is anywhere up to two weeks after your due date. By focussing on your due date only you set yourself up for disappointment if you go over and if you come early or on your due date, it's a bonus!
2. Remind yourself that the longer your baby goes over, the bigger it gets. This is always good for babies as they are generally more developed, better at feeding and will sleep longer periods.
3. Prepare to be inundated by calls, emails etc asking if bub has come. You can either let the answering machine get it or remind yourself that people are only asking because they love you and they're not intentionally trying to remind you over and over that you haven't had the baby yet!
4. Plan little projects for yourself like catching up on photo albums, baby books, reuniting with old friends via facebook, writing blogs on going overdue...
5. Plan a facial if you go over three days, a manicure if you go over five days. Give yourself something to look forward to and there are loads of beauty therapists that come to you.
6. Kick back and let your partner wait on you.
7. Meditate/sleep

And if all else fails? Remember that this will be the last time you'll ever feel your little bub wriggling round inside of you, a part of you, and that from the minute you give birth your child will be gradually growing ever more independent and further away from that warm little bundle you grew and cherished for 9 months.

Cheers! Alli

MUMS! STOP SELLING YOURSELF SHORT!

I received an email from one of my mentoring mums the other day. She was questioning her role on my site as she did feel '...rather a small pea compared to the fantastically high profile mothers...' I had on board. It wasn't the first email of this type and it won't be the last. And every time I receive this sort of correspondence it makes me want to shout the same thing - 'Mums! Stop selling yourself short!'

I'm not sure why, whether it's the time away from the workforce, the moving into new fields of business, gradual wearing down by your kids or other reason but I have never come across a group of people who (in general) so grossly underestimate themselves.

At a time when we are all juggling home, kids, husbands, social lives, work, business etc etc and proving how amazing we are on a daily basis you would think we would all be walking ego maniacs but the opposite is true. Instead of referring to the incredible things we are achieving, we keep insisting on comparing ourselves with other people, other achievements, our own mothers and coming up short.

But let me let you in on a few realisations I have picked up along the way:

1. That businessmum is more high-profile than you because she has been in business for 10 years longer or has had the money to spend on PR or her husband's in business with her etc. Her journey is different to yours and therefore you are in different places, so there is no point in comparison.

2. Hell! Stop comparing yourself with others all together! If you must use people as a yardstick, simply observe where they are and recognise this is where you would like to be and make it happen. But don't let it make you feel bad.

3. No one person has it that together - you don't see them curled up in a ball on the bed at home dealing with stress, doubts, disapointment and depression. They will always show a different face to the world and it will always look good from the outside.

4. We are amazing people with education, travel, career, business and mothering behind us. We also have eyes and ears, we have opinions and ideas, we have friends and contacts. Even if you are just starting out in business you will always have something to offer because you have lived and have experience to draw on.

So, what am I going to write back to my mentor? That I chose her because I see something in her that she should also be able to see. That she is an intelligent, experienced, bright woman and that I see what she has to offer my clients, even if she doesn't. And the reason I chose my other mentors wasn't because they were high-profile but for exactly the same reason she is on my books. And then I'm going to shout Mum! Stop selling yourself short!

WHAT I LEARNT FROM CATH KIDSTON

I was lucky enough yesterday to attend the launch of the first Businessmums' Networking Lunch in Chiswick, hostedby my lovely associate Caroline, and was educated and inspired by the great Cath Kidston. Those that attended, and those that missed out because it was booked out, will know what I mean.

I loved listening to Cath because, first and foremost, she's hilarious, secondly she's very approachable and lastly, because she reminded each and every one of us that she was, and is, just like us and made us realise that there is no secret to success. It's a step by step process and it takes time, energy and passion.

What I learnt from Cath during her talk is that you can be a success focussing primarily on the desire to do something creative with your life instead of the need to make a fortune, and make a fortune in the process! She likened the building of her business to raising a child. She always wanted her child to flourish and didn't particularly care if her child married a rich or poor person.
This attitude to money meant that she resisted borrowing money, grew slowly and reinvested much of what she made. Much like Laura Tenison of JoJo Maman Bebe did (see my previous blog).

Cath also spent a lot of time on her brand and developed a strong idea of what she wanted Cath Kidston to represent; practicality and prettiness. This focus has allowed her to develop a name that is instantly recognisable, understand which products to develop and ensure her market are able to relate to her ongoing.

The last thing she really impressed on me was that it can be scary sharing your business but the only way to achieve success is by doing just that, letting people come in and doing what they're good at. Cath felt that as a businesswoman she needed to be honest with herself and identify the areas she would never be good at, or wouldn't want to do, and farm them out.

Other things I learnt from Cath were:

• Don't make ironing covers out of flammable materials.
• Don't have someone else negotiate orders for you in Czech or you could end up with a pallet of duvet covers.
• Get help with areas you don't excel at, like warehousing, otherwise a customer may get an empty can of Special Brew with their order.

So I'm going to walk away from yesterday's lunch knowing that I am running my business because I am passionate about what I do, that I won't be aggressive financially and it will never be all about making money (or even a little bit) and that I can still be a success anyway. What a lovely lesson to learn x

LEAVING THE COUNTRY WITH DAUGHTER, BUT NOT DAD

Usually I write about business topics but today I felt moved to write about something more personal. Firstly, because as a mum in business you can't separate the two and secondly, because I always feel like if I'm thinking these things, there may be other mums out there feeling the same.

So there is something in my life that far outweighs the guilt of say, putting my daughter in nursery a couple of days a week or working on the computer when she wants to play and that is leaving her Dad and separating them. It gets worse though, in September I will be moving to Oz and taking her with me.

For those of you who are in a similar situation to me, you will understand the guilt associated with this move is the worst of all. To take your child away from their father. And it's probably magnified three-fold for me as I am a product of a broken home so I know exactly how it feels on all sides. I feel my pain, I feel his pain and I know all of the pain she will feel in coming years when she has to leave her Dad at the end of the holidays or when she's angry with me for something and wants his comfort. And I'm feeling it all now.

It isn't pleasant, it is sometimes debilitating, so how can I do it? Unfortunately, this world isn't black and white and there is no perfect answer, nor any street signs pointing me in the right direction. Every step I take is unsure and laden with doubt but I have to take a step otherwise nothing happens at all.

So first, I go with my gut. My gut has never let me down yet and I can't imagine it will start now. I have also looked at the pros and cons and thought about what I want for my daughter and I. Now, after looking at this list there is still no right answer but at least I am sure about the reasons why; like it will be a better, more outdoor lifestyle in Oz. I also know that if I stay in London I will probably have problems with depression and feel that my daughter needs a mum that is happy and healthy and not wallowing in misery.

The cons? She's not with her Dad all of the time. But I have to try and remember every time I feel like crying with frustration that I am only trying to create the best possible scenario and this is all that is in my control. I can do no more.

The other thing I always try and remember is that this will be a better life in that she won't be growing up with warring parents (as I did). And that by the time she's 18 she'll probably be living in London anyway and travelling for 10 years (as I did) and then he'll be the one getting the pleasure of all her company.

So the next time I feel the guilt come over me I'm going to remind myself that I have a good heart, that I love my daughter, that I care for my mental health, that I respect my ex and that I am doing the best I can in a world that isn't perfect.

WHAT I LEARNT FROM LAURA TENISON

From time to time during the three years running my business the issue of money has come up. Not the lack of it, I've always had enough to get by, but the question of whether my business was financially viable when all was said and done. The answer? I honestly have no idea. To date, I have never sat down and actually worked out how many hours I worked and whether I was running at a loss when I accounted for my hours. I love what I do so it seemed fine not to account for something that is just so fun!

My ex was the opposite. His first question when I would share good news with him on my business would always relate to cash. How much are you making? What is the profit? I used to get so annoyed as rather than sharing in my joy of achieving something personal it always boiled down to money. And, in the world of business, this is the norm.

Well, so I thought. But at the Laura Tenison (MD of Jo Jo Maman Bebe -http://www.jojomamanbebe.com/) lunch today, run by my associate Clare of SE London Mumpreneur Network (http://selondonmumpreneurs.blogspot.com/) she shared the unthinkable - money isn't important to her, job satisfaction is! I couldn't believe my ears as this is what I have been waiting for all my business life - to hear someone so successful in business share the fact that you can create a success built on crazy notions like doing something you love, investing in people, donating to charity.

It made me believe that maybe I could do it too - and wouldn't have to go down the road of trying to make people membership for Motivating Mum (something I have been advised to do but have always resisted) or increase my prices for lunches and events (as I want them to be accessible to everyone).

It also made me realise that there are different reasons people enter into business and it doesn't always have to be about making millions. Although in the pursuit of your passion, you just might make them anyway...

MOTIVATING MUMS!

I recently held another of my Brainstorm in a Teacup sessions and whilst sitting listening to the six mums around me offer advice and support to each other, I had an epiphany - we are bl**dy amazing really!

This wasn't just a meeting of seven mums, but seven incredible women who have backgrounds in marketing (Shazia Mustafa of Third Door), IT (Linda Louis of Maison Louis), coaching business mums (Robyn Hatley http://www.mumsthebusiness.com/), running successful villas in Tuscany (Rita Kobrak http://www.mum-and-baby-experience.co.uk/), and mums with a social conscience (Kristin Hayward http://www.positive-birth.com/ and Jessica St Clair, Green Families and A Yoga Life). All of whom are, of course, having or raising kids at the same time!

Between us we managed to give feedback on the viability of a gluten free cake business, marketing of a natural birthing site, getting coverage in magazines and newspapers, the use of Twitter, handling accounts, identifying the niche for a yoga business and much more. I couldn't help but marvel at the breadth of experience each mum brought to the table after years of schooling, career, babies and now, running or launching their own business.

It really helped cement for me the reason why I run these sessions and also, made me so proud to be a mum in business. Not only are we extremely under-estimated in the world of business (in my opinion) but we are a force to be reckoned with as not only are we all brilliant, but we're willing to share it with our fellow mums and help each other to greater heights. Not a trait I have come across in business before...

MULTI TASKING MUM TIP #2

As always, racking my brain as to what to write today and thought I would share with you a few of my time saving tips, which allows me more time to fritter away elsewhere like on blogging and Twitter!

1. I always get my daughter (3 yo) dressed first in the morning and then she has breakfast. If I'm running late or she's dawdling, breakfast can be on the go, getting dressed can't!
2. When she's having a bath, I scrub any stained clothes in the bathroom basin so I can chat to her while getting work done.
3. I plan for my business day in ad breaks the night before - and I stick to my plan!
4. I plan meals for the next few days in ad breaks and write all the ingredients down.
5. I take a pen with me to the supermarket so I can cross off what I've picked up and be sure about what I still have to get.
6. I search the BBC food website for recipe ideas as you can pop a quick meal option in thsearch engine and get ideas that don't take too long.
7. I only iron if I absolutely have to. There's a lot to be said for flicking clothes before hanging them up and hanging them up properly!
8. I organise catch ups with more than one friend at a time. Even if they don't know each other, they soon will, and it's lovely creating new groups of friends.
9. I use my diary religiously and write in everything I need to do and remember. If I call someone and leave a message, I leave a note for myself a few days on to query if they have called back.
10. I only blog once a week and leave it at that. I only look at Twitter once a day and leave one message and reply to two. I never do either on weekends.

Cheers! Alli